Glutton for Punishment

So....I did the match.com thing a while ago.  Why, you ask?  Because apparently I like being hit on by men old enough to be my father and hairy enough to be mistaken for my pet bear.  That, and I'm borderline desperate to get away from the best sex and hottest man I've ever dated for the sake of not being 40 and still stuck in this lame excuse for a relationship that will go nowhere.  So here I am again, Match-ing it up in a new town.  And by new town, I mean a little hole in the wall where the men are all fat, broke and "currently separated."  Cause, yeah, I'm looking for a man who is married.  That's my dream in life....

As I was sorting through the emails full of bad grammar and sappy compliments - like the one who told me I looked like an Elle model - I just want to know, how does he know what Elle is?  Personally, I like guys who know Vogue as a dance Madonna did in the 80's and Cosmo for the sex tips.   Okay, my point here is, I was sorting through the emails crowding up my inbox and deleting those that are still married to someone who is clearly not me and wondering....do I really want out of this pseudo-relationship so much that I'm willing to punish myself with a flood of obnoxious guys who think they have a chance and the even worse dates with The Octopus who can't keep his hands off me even though all he knows about me is my first name and that I'm new to the area??  UGH!!!

I'm not asking for much, really.  Just a good looking guy who makes a decent living and gives me great sex.  I mean, I can't sit around wondering when the next time is that one of us will make that two hour drive for some peel-me-off-the-ceiling naughtiness.