And Life Continues….

So the Worst Week Ever has finally come to a close and I spent all of yesterday being a lazy bum and giving my little ol’ brain a minute (or 1440 minutes) to relax and think about nothing more than if I really want to buy that blouse, those jeans, that sweater and a new pair of boots even though I need none of them.  I’m rationalizing these needless expenditures on making it through the Worst Week Ever without losing every bit of sanity I have or killing someone.  That and I have a new found love for sweaters.  They may not be the most flattering of the clothing world, but they do keep me warm and cozy during the dreadful months of fall and winter.  I’ve really got to move somewhere warmer….

During the Worst Week Ever, I came to the same realizations about myself and Big that I always come to.  That he’s a waste of my time, no matter how much I love him.  Problem is, I've been there done that countless times over the last four years.  Bigger problem – he always realizes when I've come to this train of thought and makes everything good again.  He'll soon start acting the way I've always wanted him to act, being attentive like I wish he would be, and saying the things I've longed to hear.  Even bigger problem – it’s always a temporary fix but I fall for it every time.  I’m not sure which is worse…my weaknesses or his manipulations.  Either way, it makes me want to pull my hair out while I scream.  My conclusion – I will start dating other people.  Even though this is something that I've been attempting for a while, I have historically sabotaged any potential relationship I've run across.  The more promising ones I completely ignore or blow off and then, upon realizing my stupidity, try to draw them back in but it’s always a little too late.  Since I’m in a teeny little town with a small dating pool of eligible bachelors that meet the standards I have set for myself, I decided to do Match.  But…the dating pool on the outskirts of my teeny little town consists of fat rednecks that make minimum wage and drive a 1980’s model pickup truck that probably doesn't pass inspection and would likely take me on a date to the Waffle House.  Great.  Do you see my dilemma??  I think I'm ready to move back to the land of hot men with real lives – even if it is in the midst of the chaos and never-ending traffic that I despise and ran screaming from just a couple months ago.  Living here serves a purpose…I keep telling myself that.  Maybe one day I'll believe it.

My week did end on a bright note….I got a call from my greatest friend and we chatted and bitched and made plans to get together soon.  And even better than that I made my last car payment!  Here's to outright ownership and a nice monthly raise!  Life is good after all.  And now I'll be going back to debating whether or not to spend $500 on a new fall wardrobe that will satisfy me emotionally and keep me warmer than I would otherwise be.